I'm so freaking good at soccer its crazy. I may be like a poor man's Edgar Davids. Okay maybe not that good but I'm pretty fast. I'd probably be like the 3rd fastest on your team easily. So if anyone is looking for a high effort guy with a respect for the game's integrity, I'm your guy.
If you don't pick me I'll be upset, but I also get it because this is kind of weird and I have no leverage.